On a Saturday night in early August, I made a choice. I guy I call Gosling texted me “I need you” at the same time Fish was asking me to pick him up from a party. Sunday morning I woke up in Gosling’s bed, but that’s another story for another series for another time. But let’s rewind back to making that choice – the truth is, I was already at Goslings condo before I even bothered to reply to fish in the following exchange:
Fish: Id let u just pick me up! Its fun but I have mimi fever.
Me: Gah! I want to but I’m birthday-ing uptown. Are you having a good time?
Fish: Yup msg me after birthday then. Its early but starting to clear so Im down whenever, if not I can just sleep here. Or I can cab home.
Me: Do it and I’ll try and be by later.
*2 hours later*
Fish: Ok. Ill go home now.
Fish: En route.
Fish: Im here! Whats your thought?
Me: Im uptown sober. But still in a line.
Fish: Ok well Im back now just to let you know. Come or not I just want you to have fun. Doors open anyways.
I didn’t reply.
9am Sunday morning came around and I was still sort of processing the night that Gosling’s friends, aka the bros, gave me the name “Drunk Fairy”. My phone dinged and it sounded like maybe a mild amount damage control was needed:
Me: Oh boy got super hammered. How was the party you were at?
Me: Sorry I didn’t make it over. I was in zero condition. Just picking up my car from uptown. (Solid lie because I hadn’t actually gone home from Gosling’s uptown high-rise condo yet.)
Fish: Ya Id have to say Im pretty hung too.
I picked up my daughter Sunday afternoon and hit the road towards a rural town a few hours outside the city to pick up our new puppy. Fish told me a story about his sisters dog – I sent him a photo – and we talked throughout the day on and off. The next night he asked me if we should have “any chills this week?” I told him my schedule and we settled on Wednesday. He told me “I like thinking of our Friday night. Naked the 1, 2, 3, or 4th time. It was fun.” Romance? When date night finally rolled around we didn’t have a firm plan – which wasn’t surprising. After work he let me know that “we didn’t really talk about it” he had “ate some leftovers for dinner” and was “hopping into the shower”. I offered up the suggestion of a movie or a park as I began to stuff my face at the fridge; he chose the park, we decided to meet there, and I packed up my puppy.
The park and puppy date was a little strange. If you remember, in the eight blogs I talked about how I like when I get to flex socially in front of guys, strangers talk to me all the time, and I like to see how guys react, and more importantly join in and keep up.
I like meeting new people – I like having little conversations with strangers – its happening semi-frequently on my dates lately – some guys jump right in, others sit back and watch me do my thing. I like that the other people I end up talking to don’t realize I’m on a first date – can you imagine if they did? – from Eight #5
Well. Fish doesn’t, can’t or won’t. The corgi puppy I’m carrying around the park only adds to the number of random people stopping to say hello on our walk, and fish says nothing … every time. He doesn’t look annoyed but he doesn’t know what to do. He’s quiet and aloof and visibly shy. We walked the entire perimeter of the park, mainly focused on the animals the mini petting zoo and talking about the carp in the small man-made lake. He told me you can bait them with corn – we see a can on the ground nearby an abandoned fishing rod. As we walked he took photos of the animals that he posted to social media. When we had finished walking and talking, rather awkwardly, we went back to the car and said goodbye rather awkwardly too. He didn’t ask to extend the date – and he didn’t try to hug or kiss me – we just stood at my trunk in a parking lot, said we’d talk later, and then he turned on his heel and got in his car. I was dumbfounded. I sat in the driver seat – mouth agape. And that weird little habit of mine, not comfortable with misunderstanding, decided to clear the air. I got out of my car and strode over to his driver window, he was sitting there looking just as bewildered as I felt, and said “Um, so do like each other or …” I KNOW – I’M THE WORST. Ha. Fish sputtered out a “Well, yeah, I -” as I wagged my finger at him in a “come here” motion. He hopped out of the car – I kissed him – said “Ok then, bye” and got back in my car and left. Fish texted later asking if he should’ve invited me over? I said no but “I’m going to say goodbye properly knowing we have tricky schedules.” We knew we were facing another span of time out of touch from our park walk and talk. I suggested to fish that “If you’re shy by nature and I’m more submissive we’re both going to have to push ourselves.” He agreed and said he was up to the challenge and gushed about how cute my dog was. He put a few photos from the park on social media, including my puppy, and made sure to mention than neither he nor I “made the cut”. (I didn’t break it to him that my reaction to my @username being posted on his social media would not have been a good one. I’m very very private about my dating life. Ironic considering the blog, I know, but anonymity is a hell of a drug.)
It didn’t take long for his guy friends to start roasting him in the comments of the photo: “Tinder date?” leading me to believe that Fish catches a lot of flack for being single and on apps to the degree he is, which probably should have provided some level of foreshadowing for me. But it didn’t.
Fish is forgivable – nothing he does is malicious – and I think what I gleaned from this little awkward and quiet date is that when pressed, he generally tells the truth. Will he hide behind non-specifics? Yes. Can that be considered a lie? In the way I did it – absolutely. But him posting on social media a photo of the animals we looked at, and especially my dog is maybe an olive branch I just didn’t recognize at the time. As private as I am with my dating – fish is as well – I’ve only seen him reference me and one other girl, what he refers to as his “fling before me”. Him inviting me to spend time with his friends – maybe also was an olive branch. It could be me missing the point, or his intent, all along, but in writing these blogs I think some of those come to view: at the heart of it – deep down, I think fish is a really good catch. Just maybe not for me.
In the next blog – I bring fish a little more into my world.
Your spoiler is: it’s weed. And another flub-bub.